“I am not young enough to know everything”

If you want to babysit my daughter, do not e-mail me from fantasygrrl69@yahoo.com

Bad idea. You will not be the chosen one. I do not want orgies in my living room while my daughter is sleeping in the back. I am a mother, I am not into my babysitters liking the number 69. I want an email from “gr8bbysttr” maybe… or maybe just a simple name will do.

So I’ve gotten added to the weekend program at work. I’ll be working every weekend (in case you couldn’t figure that out by the name). This is a plus because they’ll pay me a lot more to do it, but it also sucks because I’ll be missing most of ShannieMan’s football games. Overall I guess it’s worth it, but I want to be the supportive wife, not the wife who had to work. My plan is to put 10,000 in savings this year, pay off all our debt (besides student loans… Shane has a student loan debt equal to the federal deficit… we actually have a ticker on Wall Street), and buy a house by this time next year.

The problem is, he’s a football coach. I don’t know where we’ll be living in a year… so I sure as crap don’t know where to buy a house. I joined the YMCA (yeah, I sing Village People every time I go in) and there are these houses across the street that are beautiful. They’re way more space than we need, bigger than the house we’re in now (and we have a whole formal living room in this one with no furniture), but the price is excellent for the space and location, and we can expand the ‘ole family to fit, right? I hear the housing market in Phx is falling, so maybe they’ll be even more affordable next year. We’ll see.

Speaking of having a formal living room with no furniture… I don’t need a formal living room. Formal living rooms are stupid, especially for people who are not formal. Any ideas? My favorite is a game room.. but games cost a lot of money. My second idea was a reading room, which would be cool… but I don’t have that many books. I really would like to make it a playroom because Bec’s room can’t hold all of her crap.. but it opens into the living room and I’m OCD about toys being in view… maybe we could put up a door? The other problem would be that if we get pregnant, our current office will have to move to the room next to the empty room, meaning the office and playroom will be virtually the same room.. and we know that won’t work. I wish I could put up a disco ball and make it a DANCE room. I would dance my ass off all day if I had one of those.

I do miss my family… so maybe we won’t stay out here at all. ShannieMan has a fabulous job, but I’m sure he could get an even fabulous-er one in north Texas… and I could live closer to Deb and Mike (not too close, within about three hours or so.. they drive me insane when they live closer than two hours away).

I wish we could just stay in the house we are in now and have my parents move to…. Flagstaff. Perfect.

I’m rambling now… Ohhhh I’m so sore from pumping iron for the past few days… these BBguns are going to grow into Bazookas before you know it.

PS: I think I might quit this blog, since I’m double-posting now on MySpace… I don’t know. This one seems pointless, considering about two people read it.

I’m making my debut at the gym today. My ass has just gotten too big, and I don’t see a way around it (the gym… or my ass). I know that losing weight takes a lifestyle change, but I’ve just never been able to do that. I’m the “point break” type of girl. I’ll let it grow… and grow… and then I hit a certain weight, and I work my ass off until I’m down again. So now I begin the cardio M/W/F and weights T/Th/Sat. My ass has had enough.

I keep getting these grand ideas… when we got married, I thought that if I got off birth control my weight would automatically shrink back down to what it was pre-birth control (bout 115, and that’s after a baby). It didn’t happen. Not even a few pounds. Nothing came off. Probably because I was still shoving brownies down my face.

Then I thought that quitting smoking was the problem, because after I quit I added another 10 pounds. I heavily weighed (no pun, really) starting smoking again.. and I decided that fat-assedness is a better way to die than lung-cancerness. I’ve seen both. Then I thought about smoking meth for a brief second, just because all those bitches who do it have tiny little petite asses… but no teeth, and are refferred to as “crack whores.” Don’t go dialing CPS just yet… I was kidding.

So then I thought about lipo, and that was out quick because I can’t afford it just yet. Plus I’m not done having babies, and you really need to be done having babies before you go get nip/tucked.

I can’t diet. I just can’t. I can cut back on shoving crap into my mouth, but I’ve never been one to restrain myself from the occassional (here lately frequent) brownie. I’m making an effort to eat healthier in the form of home-cooked meals, but that’s as far as I’m going to be able to go. One time I heard a fat girl say the following: “Skinny girls just bitchy ’cause they hungry!” I believe she’s right. Ohhh I would love to be one of those skinny-bitchy girls.

So now I’m at the point where I need to drop about 30 pounds. I’m tired of my clothes not fitting right, I’m tired of being out of breath when I have to run to a code, I’m tired of being tired all the time. So I went to the YMCA to enroll Bec in swimming classes… and I fell in love (if you want to call it that) with their weight room. It’s huge. And none of the people in there were those body-builder-sweat-all-over-everything types. Mostly women with kids. My kind of place. So now, while Becca is swimming with Coach Tim (who can’t be but 18, but is quite a looker… shhhh… you still need’nt call CPS) I’ll be swimming laps. While I’m lifting, she’ll be in the kids room. I know I’ll feel soooo much better… but I need an Ipod.

Really. How can you work out to music you hate? I have to get one. I need music to motivate me. All in all, this new booty I’m going to get is costing me a lot of money. It had better be worth it.