“I am not young enough to know everything”

A “documentary” on global warming was on HBO a few nights ago. These environmentalists are too fanatical to be believed. If they would just tone it down about four notches, I think I may be more inclined to listen to them. These Shock and Awe scenes just don’t work on me anymore. I wish that someone could lay the issue out, fact for fact, and present an objective viewpoint. I also would like to see some solutions. So our planet will look like Mars in 1000 years if we don’t do something. If you’re going to tell me that, you need to tell me what to do. I guess this is my chief complaint with the democratic party altogether. You can find a million problems, but you don’t have a solution to any of them.

These people need to put on some Action Jeans and figure something out.  

I’m looking forward to Al Gore’s book on the subject. I believe it’ll be coming out soon, if it hasn’t already. I would like to see what the inventor of the internet has to say about the issue.

I was harshly judged today by someone who does not know me. I understand that about 3:50 people look at my blog. Regardless, I want to clarify some things for anyone who may come across this and get a judgement hair up their ass. Reminder: Not for most of you, who I love. For the ones who sit on a high horse and fling poo.

1. I am an intelligent woman. I talk about superfluous things because I think they are funny. However intelligent I may be, I also subscribe to lowbrow humor. I laugh at fart jokes. Deal with it.

2. I don’t talk about politics and national issues on my blog because I bore myself too quickly. I’ve started a thousand blogs on the economy, immigration, social activism, and Iraq. I’ll get about two sentences in and be bored by what I am saying. I’ll debate with you about these things all day, and chances are I will win the debate. I just think Chuck Norris is way more interesting than George Bush.

3. I love my daughter. I don’t talk about her a lot because people who talk about their children incessantly are boring. Being a mother is only a part of me, not who I am.

4. I come from a redneck family. My mother and father weren’t the most educated people. This fact does not mean that I do not value education, or that I am not educated myself. I hold a college degree, I make a lot of money, and I can nearly guarantee my IQ is higher than yours. If you are quick to judge someone because they wear shorts with cows on them, you aren’t the brightest peanut in the turd, now, are you?

5. I am not a racist. The only person who would really call me a racist is a white male. That’s because they are least likely to know what’s up. I can’t believe for a second that I even have to mention this.

6. I’ve found that those who judge most are those who know least.

Now  I will David Lee Roth through the world as I have been. I just thought I should set a few things straight. Yes, I used David Lee Roth as an adverb. If you’ve ever watched the guy, you would know what I was talking about. He is a busy guy. Now for those of you who sit on that high horse… go run it off into a canyon or something.

So this Mossouwisise guy is going to SUPERMAX prison. Because regular maximum security wasn’t enough, they have a SUPERMAX. Really, I thought the definition of maximum was somewhere along the lines of “the most.”

 Maximum Security Prison + Chuck Norris = SUPERMAX

Doesn’t that Mousskawndawi guy look a little retarded to you? In the ER world, we call that syndromey. Theres something going on, but I’m just not sure what.

You know, I’ve found someone that can kick the ass of both the pirate and the ninja. THE VIKING. Chuck Norris is a descendent of vikings. Hence the red hair. Vikings even had those Action Furs that helped them pillage more shit. Plus, who drives a boat with a woman-thing on the front? Sweet ass ride! I bet the pirates were really wishing they could get one of those. They’re like old-time Sopranos, the vikings. Mob mentality, just with a ship and some plundering-type tools.

Now today is Cinco De Mayo, whatever that shit is about (yeah, I know, independence and all that crap blahblah). I’m just looking forward to the Corona. I bet it’s a little better in AZ, being that so many hispanics plundered it.

Hey by the way I got some more diamonds. I don’t have them yet, but they’re coming. Svelte.