I’ve decided to volunteer my time. I’ve spent too long on the couch, and I have to get up and do something. So today, I went to meet with Gigi. I sat in the lobby of the Red Cross for an hour. No kidding. Finally, after an hour, the receptionist goes to look for the lady (mind you, she was there when I first showed up). The lady went home. I shit you not. I sit in the lobby waiting for this woman for an hour, and she GOES HOME?? That’s what I get for trying to be a Good Samaritan. I get purgatory. So anyways, I give up on that. But I had something else brewing.

Two weeks or so ago, I put in a call to the Girl Scouts. My daughter would make a great Brownie, so I wanted to sign her up. Last week, I got a call back. Me and the lady got to talking, and she asked me to lead a troop at Bec’s school because there was not one started yet. I said that I would love to. What would be funner than 17 six year olds making knots? Anywho, this lady said she would email me some information. A week later, no such thing.

To top it all off, I fired my neurologist on Tuesday because the ass can’t keep appointments. Once I waited nearly two hours, and I showed up this time and would have had to wait over two. Why do people in this God-Forsaken town not keep appointments? WHY?

I’m a laid-back type of kid, but Jesus. There comes a time when a clock matters at least a little, and plus it’s just common manners.

You know what the kicker is? If I had been late for my neuro appointment, he would have charged me $50. Seriously.

In other news…. there is no other news I guess. I’m looking forward to my wedding in June (seriously this time, at least I think). We’ve put down all the down payments, and I’m going shopping for a dress next week. This one better not fall through dudes.

 I’m off to bed.

27. Do you wish there was a 28th question on this survey?
Sure do. These are great.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Yesterday was a bad day for me, and the day before yesterday was even worse. I did, however, see some comedy, which was a nice relief. I have to talk to you a bit about this whole immigration reform thing. Before I begin on my rant, I have to say that ultimately, I don’t know what I think should happen with this. There are no easy solutions that I can see. Regardless, I am still quite pissy with it all. Here we go.

First of all, these people are delusional if they think a march is going to change someone’s mind. The only thing changing minds around here are votes, and hispanics traditionally do not turn out to the poles. They’re tired. A big lot of them are also illegal, and thus cannot vote. So march around all you want Sally, but until you march your ass to the poles, no one is going to listen.

Fact: If you entered this country illegally, YOU ARE A CRIMINAL. Do not claim that you are not. You broke the law, and that makes you a criminal. When I go 80 in a 65, I know that I am breaking the law. I understand that I cannot pick and choose which laws apply to me (even though Bushie can). If I see one more ILLEGAL immigrant carrying a sign that says they aren’t a criminal, I may have to throw my shoe at them.

Fact: Mexican workers are not the ones lowering wages in this economy. Congress hasn’t raised the minimum wage since 1997. THEY are the ones who should be held responsible for low wages. Who can live off 5.15 an hour? Oh yeah, no one. So how about we bark up the right tree on this one? 5.15 an hour? Is that some sort of fucking joke? That equals 10,080 a year GROSS income. That’s if they work 40 hours a week, every single week. Maybe for a kid still living with mom and dad. Not for grown ass people. No wonder so much of our taxes go towards Medicaid and Welfare. These people can barely afford to eat.

Fact: If you don’t want to be sterotyped as one who is always late, don’t show up late. 250,000 people marched yesterday in Phoenix. Over half of them showed up late. I shit you not.

Question: How did 11 million people get here illlegally? Is there anyone who cares about border security? Why is this an immigration issue? Somebody is going to sneak a bomb or some shit over that border, and Phoenix is going to get blown up, because it’s closest out of the big cities. America needs to be guarding it’s grill. Yeah, I know port security sucks too. That’s because our Homeland security department is busy trying to figure out how to bang 13 year old girls. They don’t care about ports, they care about babes. And that guy? What an idiot. No 13 year old girl in her right mind finds someone like him “hott.” Stupid shit for brains.

Prediction: Not a damn thing will come of this issue. This country has ceased being a country of action, and is now a country of bickering. What have we really done since 9/11, in regards to our own country? Not a damned thing. Nothing. Zip. The asses will argue about something for a little while, and then it will go away. We need to get off our collective ass and do something. Anything. Our president is too busy leaking classified shit to worry about social policy, and it pisses me off. Congress is too worried about getting blowjobs from lobbyists, and Homeland Security just wants to get ‘em while they’re young. I thought it would be a cold day in hell when I missed Billy Clint. I guess they’re probably shivering down there.

How old do you have to be to run for office? Maybe McCain will get elected and do some campaign reform stuff that actually reforms, and then I might have a shot. Well, probably not, because I curse entirely too much, and I don’t pray every five seconds. I also don’t care if gays get married or not. I really have to switch from R to D. These people have pissed me off a little too much.

Wake me up in 2008 please.

The last blog was me pissed off about Letters To A Dead Guy. Yesterday on the way to work, I found something else to chap my hide.

Presenting… License Plates To A Dead Guy. It was AZ plates, personalized. The plate said the following:

 MISSUMOM

I know, it’s too many letters. I couldn’t believe it. I thought they had sharpied in a letter or something. But alas, upon closer inspection, it was indeed real.

No excuse for this, unless mom died in a road rage accident going down I-10 while following close behind said car, and is now doomed to haunt family by tailgating them in Ghost Car for all eternity. Then I could deal with it, but only then. And odds are about as good as the odds for George Mason going into this thing. (By the way… FLORIDA??? REALLY?? Jeez Loise.)

AND THEEEENNN… when I was taking Becca to school this morning, I saw another one. You know how those people get the decals to go on the back of their glass on their cars/trucks/beaters? Yeah all those people are ignorant, especially the ones with the stick figure families with the name of each family member under corresponding stick figure…. but I digress. That isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the guy who has the following emblazoned across the back glass of his ‘98 GMC Sierra:

R.I.P. Sancho 12/75-6/03

You Will Always Be In Our Hearts

and apparently on our back glass as well.

GET OVER YOUR DEAD GUY. I’ve had some dead guys, some of which I love very much, and still think about. But I DO NOT PUT THEM ON MY CAR. Why not just slip the casket in the back seat?

And it isn’t even a fresh dead guy. These are people who have been dead two, three, seven years.

Put some not-tacky flowers on their headstone, and visit them, and cry on the anniversary of their death. Don’t make us people who could give a flip less if Sancho died in 2003 read about it over and over while having to follow your shitty-driving ass. It’s not cool.